[Start]Revengeance Fund: 1570¥
I
needed today. For reals. I didn’t do a lot, but it felt so good. I went back to
that antique store today. Bought a new instruction scroll, went at it for a couple
of hours until I had the move down. I practiced all my sweet moves, didn’t get
any phone numbers today. I assume it was because all the girls my age were at
school, where I should probably be but we haven’t gotten any phone calls,
truancy cops haven’t shown up, hell no concerned class mates have shown up to
ask why I haven’t come back yet. Seems like because dad was killed I’m getting
a free pass. Or everyone but Nozomi completely gave up on me, which I don’t
give a fuck either way.
I fed
the cat, keepin the little bugger fed is still important. Also it rained today,
like all day. And its starting to piss me off. Its rained every day since the
day I met Charlie, like he’s some kind of fucking weather wizard and its seriously
pissing me off. I own like 1 jacket, 4 pairs of jeans, and 10 tshirts, and most
of them are soaked, and we don’t have a dryer. I blame dad.
Speaking
of blaming dad for shit, I went and said a prayer at the family shrine for dad.
This I all his fault for not having that sword ready to go, or booby trapping
the dojo with some pendulums, or bear traps, or paint cans on strings.
I sat
down and played Space Harrier in my living room. God it was so much fun. I
remember when I used to do fun shit like this all the time. Just sit on ass,
play games at Naoyuki’s house, read Jump, and as long as I stayed out of
trouble in school, and kept my grades adequate, dad never gave me shit. Jesus
its been like 2 weeks since my Dad died and my whole life has completely changed.
I’m hell bent on killing a guy, I’m dropped out or auto-passed in school…
something… Nozomi is in love with me, Fuku-san is Fuku-san, and Ine-san is
stealing my money. Jesus fuck man.
I’ve
been on this quest 7 days now and I’m about to have a fucking break down. Me! A
few days ago I was like the baddest mother fucker in the world, splitting
heads, taking names, and beating up sailors. Now look at me… falling apart
because I haven’t read Jump in 3 weeks. Naoyuki doesn’t keep his copies very
long, Nozomi doesn’t read it, and Fuku-san I’m pretty sure doesn’t understand
what reading is. I’m 3 weeks behind on all my manga, which means I have no idea
what’s going on now, and it’ll be another month or 2 before they get collected
and I get the tankoban.
I’ve
just been sitting here the last 2 hours, chilling, listening to my cassettes.
Grooving on some of the music I’ve collected over the last week. And I’m
feeling good now. I know I probably sounded like I was losing it or breaking
down, but no, I’m good now. Maybe now is the time when the grief of losing Dad
finally hits me. I’ve been holding in all this emotion, swallowing it and
denying its even there because, well I’m a man. And now here it is, and I guess
I gotta deal with it now.
Yeah
fuck that, emotions are dumb. Gonna go whip the shit out of Fuku-san one more
time. He pays no rent, has no income, yet lives in MY house eating up all MY
food. The least the goof ball can do to earn his keep is go a few rounds with
me each day.
I’m gonna try and make a point to
take a break every now and again, at least once a week. I can’t be Revenging
all the time, otherwise I wind up wearing myself out like I did this week. Then
I start thinking about emotions and shit, and I can’t deal with this right now.
Gonna call Master Chen tomorrow, see where this goes. Probably nowhere. This is
my last real lead… If this fails, fuck Ine-san I’m making this dojo into a
ninja sex-assassin training camp and with my army of sex ninja’s I will find
and kill Lan Di, it’ll just take longer, but it’ll probably be sexier. Yeah I
wish I could do that, and I wasn’t just bullshitting myself.
[End]Revengeance Fund: 550¥
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